


The Birds and the Bees

by Godisqueer



Series: Trixie Gives Lucifer Paranoia [2]
Category: Lucifer (TV)
Genre: Caring Chloe Decker, Established Chloe Decker/Lucifer Morningstar, Everybody loves Trixie Espinoza, F/M, Lucifer Morningstar (Lucifer TV) Needs A Hug, Minor Chloe Decker/Lucifer Morningstar, Non-Explicit Sex, Sex Ed with Satan, Sex Education, Smart Trixie Espinoza, Step-Satan, Trixie Espinoza & Lucifer Morningstar Bonding, Trixie Espinoza & Mazikeen Friendship, the birds and the bees
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-30
Updated: 2020-07-30
Packaged: 2021-03-05 19:34:27
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,044
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25600663
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Godisqueer/pseuds/Godisqueer
Summary: Lucifer has existed since the beginning of time having eons of sexual experiences. However, he has never had to describe it in a non-sexual way. Trixie has questions and is looking for answers from Satan himself.
Relationships: Chloe Decker & Trixie Espinoza, Chloe Decker/Lucifer Morningstar, Trixie Espinoza & Lucifer Morningstar, Trixie Espinoza & Mazikeen
Series: Trixie Gives Lucifer Paranoia [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1725490
Comments: 15
Kudos: 174





	The Birds and the Bees

**Author's Note:**

> Well, here is the second story. I hope you enjoy!

Ever since he came back from Hell, Lucifer was in bliss. He even looked over the case files outside of the precinct when he had extra time. Today he reread the interviews that he and Chloe conducted. The urchin seemed to be working something as well, perhaps something from her germ ridden school.

“Lucifer?”

He spared a glance at Trixie before his eyes returned to his document, “Yes spawn?”

“I heard something at school that doesn’t make sense, but don’t want to worry mom. Can you help me understand but then not tell mommy and just keep it a secret?”

As Trixie continued, a mischievous glimmer sparkled in his eyes and faced the urchin with invested interest. He doubted the child had anything serious to hide, but he was intrigued by what the spawn wanted to hide from Chloe. Chloe was such a reasonable parent and reflectively the best mother. Anything that the child felt she couldn’t tell her mother was a worthy secret to the Devil. “Of course, my word is my bond. I’ve existed since the beginning of time. I’m sure I’ll be able to answer whatever question that confuses your small mind” he said with a devilish smirk settling on his face.

Trixie thoughtfully looked back at Satan, “What does ‘the devil’s tango’ mean?”

Lucifer’s mind went blank. Out of all the questions he thought she would ask; he was the least prepared to educate a 12 year old about slang words for sexual intercourse. “I think your mother could answer that question better than I can...”

The child frowned, “But Lucifer, you know everything!”

“I know but...” He needed an escape. Normally he would bribe the child, but Chloe forbade him from giving the spawn money. 

“Besides, I don’t want mommy to worry” she mumbled.

Lucifer let out a breath and looked at the ceiling. Dad dammit. “Fine, it means to have sex with another person."

“But why is it your tango? You’re the Devil, right?” Trixie looked at him with earnest interest. 

He would have to tread carefully on this matter. “Well, urchin… Some time ago there were groups of people who were religious who wanted others ashamed of their bodies and feelings even when their reactions were natural. Those people had power and punished people who wanted to understand their bodies by labeling sex as sinful. They named it after me one way or another because of my argument with Dad. But Urchin, there isn’t anything inherently wrong or sinful about wanting to understand ourselves, do you understand?” 

Trixie nodded in though, "yeah, I think so Lucifer. It's cool that you have something named after yourself." she looks thoughtfully at him as if she's doing the math in her head.

“Yes, I suppose it is… Now that I’ve answered your question I will get back to the case and you can work on the assignments for that school you attend”. Lucifer answered the urchin and told her what separate tasks they would be working on. Chloe often diverted the offspring’s attention, surely he could do the same.

“But Lucifer! I still have questions!” Trixie bottom lip jutted out in a small frown. 

Lucifer suppressed a groan, “Fine, but I expect you to drop the subject and get back to your assignment”.

The frown immediately disappeared, “Thanks Lucifer! You’re the best! So you're the devil... and you love my mom..." the urchin made a wicked smirk.

He had hoped she would just let go of the subject, “Can we talk about something else?”

"Is that what happens when mom says you're going to have a sleepover?!? Do you do 'the devil's tango' with my mom?" He chokes. It was worse than Lucifer expected. Dear dad, when was Chloe going to finish her shower? He was dying. "So, what happens during sex?"

At this point, Lucifer held his head in his hands with his eyes closed. He needed to get out of this conversation, now. "Sex is for pleasuring each other or procreation. Now please Beatrice! No more questions!"

Trixie ignored Lucifer's pleas for mercy, bouncing excitedly. "Mom must really please you during 'the sex'! Especially with how many noises you make! Dad never made loud noises like you do! How do you get your voice so low?” Lucifer swore his soul was attempting to leave his body. He must be dead and this was his hell loop because the child had not only heard Chloe and Detective Douche have intercourse; which was off putting, but had heard Chloe and him have sex. Trixie attempted a grumble in the back of her throat; a poor replication of his demon voice which was impossible for any human to reproduce. However, Trixie's questions were relentless, “What’s por...ceation?”

Lucifer answered reluctantly, “Procreation. It means to have children, that’s why I refer to you as offspring”.

Trixie’s eyes widened “ARE YOU GOING TO PUT A BABY IN MOMMY?!?”

"Beatrice Espinoza! What are you doing to poor Lucifer?" Lucifer's eyes widened at the sound of Chloe's voice as she entered the kitchen.  
In desperation, he abruptly got up from the table and announced quite loudly “your mother is here! She can help you!” before he kissed her good morning.

Chloe waited for her daughter to respond as Lucifer sill looked distraught, "Nothing... I was just asking Lucifer some questions."

Chloe crossed her arms in front of herself, "Trixie Babe, what have I told you about asking Lucifer questions?"

She looked down at her feet, "that there are appropriate times to ask and I shouldn't put him on the spot for difficult questions" Lucifer slowly relaxed, hugging Chloe from behind. "I'm sorry Lucifer" before going back to her room.

Chloe wrapped her hands around his hands, "Lucifer, Trixie and I have already discussed sex"  
"Devious Urchin" he mumbled to himself. 

In her room, Trixie pulled out her phone and hit the stop icon then sending the recording through text to ‘Hell's Most Brutal Torturer <3’ with a message reading “chop chop, time to pay up <3” 

A few minutes later a message alerted her phone that read “Damn you’re good! Sending the $250 to you now.”

Lucifer’s phone vibrated with a new message that read “so much for being ‘master of all things tongue related’”.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading this! I actually just graduated in the spring with BA in Psychology and Women's, Gender, and Sexuality Studies. I couldn't help but wonder how our Devil would react to questions about sex. Please write a comment if you are inclined. May Lucifer bless you.


End file.
